ADVANCED BLUES 101: BEND IT LIKE "BLUE" JIMMY!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  THE MAN WHAT PLAYS THE BLUES

BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  So yeah, I bin getting a lot of requests to show how I do some of my amazing Blues Guitar Bends by some people just startin' out and even some veterans of The Blues!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The Blues Is Alright!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  It ain't easy folks!  It takes practice, discipline, dedication to your art and a shot an' a beer don't hurt (but it don't help, neither!).  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  In the first photo, you see my hand in the pre-bend position, relaxed, and probably doing a fill between verses.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Diddly, Dee- Dee- Daa!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  In the second photo, lookit my fingers!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  OH, F**K!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I'm pushin' the B string upwards like a motherf**ker, and the fingertips of my fretting hand are digging up under the other muted strings like I'm mining for gold!  This is on a stiff-action, '89 Fender American Standard Stratocaster strung up with 11's in standard tuning.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And he don't downtune like some 90's grunge-rock faggot, neither!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  DUDE!!!  Who does this s**t besides THE MAN WHAT PLAYS THE BLUES, "BLUE" JIMMY?  It's like Me, Buddy Guy, Albert Collins, King Kong and God!

BLIND DOG  OZZY:  An' Hendrix In His Eternal Tomb!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I'm just joking!  Any well-schooled, Bluesman worth his salt, will use this technique a hundred times during a typical set!  But let me tell you, this guitar technique is why today's rock bands don't sound anything like yesterday's hairy-chested, whiskey-voiced, guitar-slinging bands!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  I guarantee you, Maroon 5, Imagine Dragons and Coldplay never sat down in an empty room with a shot an' a beer trying to cop licks from a Freddie King album!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  That's why you don't see no mores bands like Humble Pie, Foghat, Bad Company, ZZ Top, Aerosmith and The Faces!  I remember I had to learn all these bands and  then learn all the peoples they learned from like Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson and Big Bill Broonzy!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Young people with ADHD don't have the patience to sit down and learn the whole history of The Blues, so they just mess around and learn whatever they can off the latest video game!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  So gimme a pigfoot and a beer and I'll show you how to "Bend It Like 'BLUE'  JIMMY!"  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Push those strings around, young man!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow! 
bluejames61@hotmail.com  

STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN & DOUBLE TROUBLE: SAVIORS OF THE BLUES

"BLUE" JIMMY:  BLUESMAN

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  Saturday, April 18,  2015, Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Thank you. You're welcome.  It was the Summer of 1983 when I tuned into Los Angeles radio station KLOS and heard a song by the name of "Pride and Joy" by a band called Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble.  I ain't never heard a guitar being played like that.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And you still ain't!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  By the end of the Summer I had bought a guitar and was going to the public library to look through their stack of dusty, vinyl Blues LPs and was learning to play Blues riffs from old, scratchy recordings from the 1920's.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  CRACKLE, CRACKLE, CRACKLE, SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Yeah, I was aware of The Blues as an art form since I was a kid because I had seen B.B., Albert and Freddie King on TV.  But I never knew there were Blues bands like Double Trouble who could play this ancient American art form and rock the house down like Hendrix or Led Zeppelin or Aerosmith.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Or a Blues guitarist who could play a Stratocaster behind the back through a wah pedal, tube screamer and a melting down Fender amp turned up to Heavy Metal volume!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  Stevie Ray's exploits on guitar are legendary and I could write a whole volume on his technique, tone and one-of-kind equipment.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Like that bashed up Strat!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Or how he would play strings thick as piano wire and wear out a whole set of frets in one tour!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  F**k!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  But what I really want to talk about is the legacy of Double Trouble as a band and the mark they made in the history of the Blues.  In the early 80's,  The Blues was deep under ground and was kind of considered "old people's music" by the younger generation.  Old masters like B.B. King were still great but wearing tuxedos and playing ballrooms in Vegas to an older crowd.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The Blues needed some sex appeal!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  That's where SRV & Double Trouble came in!  Looking like a Band of Gypsies  for the MTV generation, handsome, loud and reeking of cocaine & whiskey, they took the music world by storm and made it cool to like The Blues again.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And everyone rushed to Guitar Center to buy a Stratocaster!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Including me, man!  But once SRV & Double Trouble opened up the floodgates, Bluesmen who had been long forgotten like Buddy Guy, Otis Rush, Albert Collins and Luther Allison were getting gigs and recording again.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  The Blues was happening, baby!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  So now I see that Strat of mine standing in the corner and think how it was once shiny and new with the tags still on it.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And it even had that new guitar smell!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Now, it's been played and abused and has decades of sweat and blood and beer all sunk into it and it's given me a lifetime of love and music.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And it's even starting to look almost as beat up as Stevie Ray's!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I would've never had all that if it weren't for that houserockin' band with the young man in a funky hat and cowboy boots.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Rock on Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

BAND IN HELL SEEKS BITCHEN DRUMMER!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  MUSICIAN

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The same thing happens to me every year!   I see a list of people in popular music who died in the past year and I can't believe how many we lost.  Did you know last year we lost Pete Seeger, Tommy Ramone, Phil Everly of The Everly Brothers,  Paul Revere from Paul Revere and the Raiders, Bobby Keys of the Rolling Stones and Ian Mc Lagan of the Faces?  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Not to mention Oderus Urungus from GWAR!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Dude!  But there are three musicians we lost last year that were a big influence on me and my music and I want to say goodbye to them in a fitting, rockin' manner.  First up is Jack Bruce, the virtuoso rock, blues and jazz bassist who played and jammed with, well, everyone  but first made his ( big and heavy) mark with Eric Clapton in the band Cream.  Bruce was one of the first to turn the electric bass into a lead instrument and his onstage battles with Clapton and other killer guitarists are legendary.  Check out the YouTube video of his spur of the moment jam with Irish guitar great Rory Gallagher on the Cream blues jam "Politician" or the entire DVD concert he played with ex-Scorpions guitarist Uli Roth.  But it's his performance on the Cream version of Robert Johnson's "Crossroads" that will make me play spontaneous air bass anytime, anywhere.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Even in public!

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  So now every time I hear thunder across the sky Mr. Bruce, I know it's really you tuning up!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  BOOM!  BOOM!  BOOM!

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  We also lost brother Joe Cocker.  Cocker was one of the greatest R&B singers of all time.  Influenced by Ray Charles and other American Blues, Soul and R&B greats, he was known for taking mellow pop songs like "You Are So Beautiful,"  adding his gritty, whiskey-drenched voice and turning them into raunchy, bluesy workouts that overpowered and outsold the originals.  Other hits included "The Letter," "Feelin' Alright" and a rampaging, live, Pentecostal Church-like version of "Cry Me A River" that was an exercise in wild, soulful audience participation.  However,  the song he will always be known best for is his show-stealing Woodstock performance of The Beatles "With a Little Help from My Friends" which almost made people forget that Hendrix was on the bill.  Just for fun, check out the YouTube video of Cocker on an early episode of Saturday Night Live where John Belushi stands right next to him and impersonates him while he sings.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Funny as Hell!

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  Thanks Joe, for the inspiration.  If a filthy, grimy, beer-guzzling polecat like you could sing so beautifully, I know I can do it too.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  In your dreams!

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  Last, I wanna talk about the cat who put the ooooo!  in Bloooooze -- Mr. Johnny Winter.  Winter was an albino guitarist out of Beaumont, Texas who was truly one-of-a-kind.  Going onstage with a big cowboy hat to shield his sensitive albino eyes from the stage lights and swinging his exceedingly long, white hair around his shoulders, he proceeded to play, since the late '50s, blues like no white or black or any other color man has ever played.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And in bell bottoms and platform shoes!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  At one time, Winter was reportedly the highest paid musician in the world when in 1968 he signed to Columbia Records for more than half-a-million dollars before he ever played a note!  Like Joe Cocker, he was one of the highlights at Woodstock with the song "Mean Town Blues" and completely blew the minds of stoned hippies who wondered how the hell he was getting that sound ( he was playing with a slide on a twelve-string guitar strung with six strings).

BLIND DOG OZZY:  WEEEEE!  WAAAAA! WANGGGGG!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  By the 70's, Winter started recruiting some heavyweight rockers into his band (like Rick Derringer) and started blowing speakers with some of the hardest rock around, going head to head on tour with the best hard rock and heavy metal acts of the day.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  In the late 70's early 80's, he returned to pure Blues and realized his dream of playing with and producing the great Mississippi Bluesman, Muddy Waters which won him Grammy Awards but more importantly, produced some of the most expertly recorded blues of all time.

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  Dude!  But what made Johnny so unique was that he was the bee's knees and the cat's pajamas when it came to playing flat-out guitar guitar guitar.  He would often play rhythm, lead and walking bass lines all at the same time and would give the impression of more than one man playing all at once.  It made you think he could do the whole show by himself with no band.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And don't get me started on his slide guitar!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I'll get you started, man!  He was the first man I ever seen playing with a piece of steel on his finger and I stole every lick I could off his records.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  You do that with everybody's records.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The cool thing is that he did it right and respected the technique of the original Delta Bluesmen.  He didn't just f**k around with it like most of the British players did.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And then there's that voice.

"BLUE"  JIMMY:  His voice was a cross between a Texas hurricane, a plantation holler and a grumpy juke joint bartender yelling last call!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  (singing) "Rock And Roll Hoochie Koo!"

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Yes sir!  How can I even recommend any highlights?  If nothing else, try these:  "Johnny Winter" his debut on Columbia records (1969) ; "Still Alive and Well" album (1973); "Captured Live" album (1976); "Third Degree"album  (1986) "Let Me In" album (1991); the YouTube video of his entire performance on Don Kirshner's Rock Concert (1974) and anything he did with his idol Muddy Waters either on audio or video.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  We seen him rock the House of Blues in Hollywood before he died and I touched his ancient Gibson Firebird!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  God done broke the mold when he made Johnny, Joe and Jack. When one of the greats in music passes on, I always hear people talk about the angelic band that must be forming up in Heaven.  I can't imagine that three boys who smoked, drank, fornicated and made such a racket went anywhere near Heaven.  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  You mean they went ...

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Down South!  You got one of the best guitar men, bassists and singers to ever play die close together.  Now all they need is a drummer.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Please, someone with a cow bell!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

ALL BAD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END: A MOTLEY MEMOIR

"BLUE" JIMMY:  MALICIOUS MERCHANT OF MOTLEY MAYHEM

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY early 80's

MOTLEY CRUE early 80's

"BLUE" JIMMY:  MOTLEY CRUE.  The very name strikes fear into the hearts of bar and club owners, groupies, strippers, pushers, preachers, cops and dorky garage bands just starting out.  But in 1980 Los Angeles, they were just a catchy name I saw in the listings who were opening for Bay Area hard rock legends Yesterday and Today (who later became known as Y&T.)  I was so excited.  I had never been to a club to see a band before and my best friend Dammage had a Plymouth Satellite which quickly got us to the Starwood Club on the corner of Santa Monica and Crescent Heights in West Hollywood.  It must have cost less than 10 bucks to get in and inside was a separate disco (remember this was the era of Saturday Night Fever) which we avoided like hell and a bar with pinball machines (!) and a cleared out floor area where the bands would set up and play -- not even a real stage.  I was not prepared for Motley Crue.  Most bands I had seen up to that point were bearded hippie stoners in bell bottoms playing half-hour jams.  Motley Crue came out looking like a cross between Hollywood junkie transvestites and villains from "The Road Warrior."  They played song after song of aggressive, catchy hard rock which sounded classic the first time I heard it.  I couldn't get their songs out of my head even after Yesterday and Today came out and played an excellent (louder and longer) set.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  How do you think I feel?  After he bought their first homemade LP at a show at the Whiskey, he played that goddamned thing every day!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Since then, I've got smacked in the head with Nikki's bass at the Whiskey, seen and heard them destroy the Sunset Strip 'till they were no longer welcome, slay half a million headbangers at the 1983 US Festival (BLIND DOG OZZY:  where I got lost for 5 hours!) steal the show as opening act for KISS and headline every major arena with a massive show & traveling circus and a drum kit that turns upside down.  Now, many parties, girls, fights, car crashes, arrests, lawsuits, censors, overdoses and more parties later, they say this is their final tour.  So tomorrow, Monday July 21, 2014 at the Hollywood Bowl  I guess, will be the last time I see them.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Don't cry you pussy, we outlasted a bands' entire career!

"BLUE" JIMMY NOW

MOTLEY CRUE NOW

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You know, Motley Crue's decision, has got me thinking about a lot of things.  The Age of Decadence is over and everyone has got to grow up and make positive decisions to fit in with society.  So I've decided to adopt a more conservative shirt and tie look, I'm selling my guitars and I'm going to start taking classes in business administration in the Fall so I can go to work with a consulting firm.  I've also met a wonderful lady and we're going to start doing volunteer work at her church.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Really?

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Not!!!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Dude, don't scare me like that!!!  S**t!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!
bluejames61@hotmail.com

BEST HARD MUSIC 2013

"BLUE" JIMMY:  HARD MAN

BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  We're a month into the new year and after watching the 56th Grammy Awards, I got to thinking what was some of the best hard music that I liked last year.

BD OZZY:  BOM BOM BOM!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Starting with the Heavy Metal category, I don't think anything came close to matching Black Sabbath's "13".

BD OZZY:  YEAHHH!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And it's about time peoples!  The last time this lineup of Sabbath recorded, I had hair down to my chest, bell bottoms and a shirt with wizard sleeves.

BD OZZY:  And you should have seen the shoes!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Song after song of molten, headbanging metal with not a weak one in the bunch.  The song "God Is Dead?" even won the Grammy Award for Best Metal Performance.  And I loved how at the awards, you couldn't understand a thing Ozzy Osbourne was saying.  This is the first album I've bought in a long time that I could play all the way through over and over with the volume on 10.

BD OZZY:  Now the neighbor's cat can't have babies.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Best Live Show of the year also goes to Black Sabbath.  Their show at the L.A. Sports Arena last year was, I'm pretty sure, one of the signs of the Apocalypse and their haunted-looking stage show with multi-screens was downright... scary.

BD OZZY:  I came out of there feeling EVIL.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Best Hard Rock album of the year was a surprise.  I picked Black Star Riders' "All Hell Breaks Loose" over all the other great hard rock that came out last year.  The band is basically Thin Lizzy going under another name and they're not afraid to sound like it.  Highlights:  "All Hell Breaks Loose" is the best ass-kicking album opener I've heard in a decade; "Kingdom of the Lost" sounds like it was accidentally left off of the "Jailbreak" LP complete with Irish Folk Festival intro and dueling guitars by Scott Gorham and Damon Johnson; "Hey Judas" and "Someday Salvation" would've been hard rocking hit singles if they were released in 1975 and "Valley of the Stones" strays dangerously into heavy metal territory.

BD OZZY:  The bottom line is that this is basically the Great Lost Album that Thin Lizzy never made and if it had come out in their Phil Lynott heyday, they would be even more legendary than they are now due to some spotty albums in the past.  This one rips!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  On to some Heavy Guitar Blues!  Best Blues albums for me were Popa Chubby's "Universal Breakdown Blues" and Lurrie Bell's "Blues In My Soul".  Popa Chubby's career was almost over before it began because due to some horrible album cover art on his debut, many people thought he was a rapper and his album even got put into the rap/hip hop bins in the record stores.  Since then, he has put out an amazingly long string of albums that show him to be one of the most scorching modern blues guitarists on the planet and "Universal Breakdown Blues" continues the tradition with songs like "I Don't Want Nobody", "69 Dollars" and "Mindbender" which showcase not only his blistering guitar work but also a huge, hurricane of a voice which many so-called Blues guitarists lack.  Add to this a sizzling instrumental version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and you got the whole package.  Lurrie Bell, the son of Blues legend Carey Bell, is becoming a legend in his own right, with "Blues In My Soul" putting his raspy Blues voice and silky smooth and piercing guitar right up front where they belong.  When you hear the agony of songs like  "Blues In My Soul" the roadhouse funk of  "Southside to Riverside" and the Down in the Delta intro  to "My Little Machine",  you just get the feeling you're hearing the Real Deal.  

BD OZZY:  You won't hear this kind of Blues in no Guitar Center hotshot competition where the players never had a beer bottle and ashtray thrown at their head in some mean ass bar.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  So put on the Lurrie Bell album when you want the sound and feel of walking into a smokey, Southside juke joint.

BD OZZY:  And put on the Popa Chubby album when you just want to hear some fat f**ker choking the s**t out of a Stratocaster!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Special mention goes to Rory Block in the Acoustic Blues category for her album, "Avalon:  A Tribute to Mississippi John Hurt" just for the fact that she actually studied with brother Hurt and other original Bluesmen and there ain't nobody can play this way anymore.

BD OZZY:  Go ahead, try it!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The Blues/ Rock category is for those who ain't quite pure Blues but not quite Rolling Stones/ Zeppelin classic rock either.  My hands down favorite is The Russ Tippens Electric Band for their album, "Combustion" which makes me want to go practice every time I hear it.  Tippens' virtuoso guitar  and classy singing style remind me of Robben Ford on hard rocking steroids with a bass and drums rhythm section that can step out and solo whenever they want.  Add to this the fact that they are British and Tippins plays part time in Satan, an early 80's New Wave of British Heavy Metal band that plays muddy, beer-soaked Metal Festivals in Europe and I don't know what to think.  But I haven't heard a new band this good in a long time so check 'em out.

BD OZZY:  And be prepared to practice more!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Well, there's other types of hard music but other people are more qualified to  comment on those bands  than me.  I just picked some of my favorites of the past year.  So pick up some magazines, listen to some radio stations and check out some websites.  The hard music you love is out there...

BD OZZY:  You're just not going to see and hear it on prime time TV!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  "Sake's Alive!"

BD OZZY:  "Wow!  Wow!"

 

R.I.P. ANGEL OF DEATH

"BLUE" JIMMY:  HEADBANGER

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I had to say few words about the passing earlier this month of Jeff Hanneman of the band Slayer, or as hardcore fans say, Slayyyyyyyyyerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

BD OZZY:  Mas Chingon!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  And it's kind of silly to say that Jeff passed given the nature of his career in a thrash metal band that sang about the most extreme, vile subjects you could imagine.  I should say, He dropped dead, hit the ground and his beer soaked body was split open by maggots as he descended into the flames.  

BD OZZY:  There Jeff.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  His death hits closer to home than I like to think about.  When Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, Bon Scott, John Bonham and SRV died they were larger-than-life people who lived in faraway places.  Jeff and his Slaymates lived down the boulevard from me here in South East L.A.  Although I never actually met Jeff,  I saw him and Slayer since the earliest days when they were playing backyard keg parties and VFW halls here in the neighborhood.  Their beer drinking was the stuff of legends.  My friend had a homemade video of Jeff at Tom Araya's parent's house shotgunning beers and then showing the band going to the store to get more suds.  

BD OZZY:  Tell them about the show!  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Then there was that show at The Hollywood Palace in the late 80's where Satan himself showed up and rabid Slayer fans got a little too perky and ripped the place to shreds and the LAPD had to call the riot squad to clear the block.

BD OZZY:  Someone stepped on my tail and puked on the back of my head.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  You were lucky!  I remember walking out of the place with my mouth bleeding from the mosh pit, beer bottles flying everywhere and the LAPD helicopters flying overhead.  My friends left me and I had to take refuge in the building across the street where I had a friend who worked at a late night phone sex place.  The next day I had bruises in the shape of hand prints all over my body.

BD OZZY:  I slept under a bus bench.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Slayer always seemed to bring out the dark side of people but for all their occult trappings and imagery, you have to remember that they weren't a group of Satanic witches sacrificing babies on a foggy moor in Scotland.  They were L.A. DUDES who liked to pound beers, listen to metal and punk in their parent's garage and crank up the amps to meltdown level whereupon, they invented a type of heavy metal that people in the early days, thought had gone way too far.

BD OZZY:  When the "SHOW NO MERCY" album first came out, it scared the s**t out of me.  I thought the tape player had got stuck in fast forward and I'm pretty sure I heard The Devil calling my name.  

"BLUE" JIMMY:  He was probably talking to the other Ozzy.

BD OZZY:  How did Jeff die?  They say it was a spider bite.

"BLUE" JIMMY:   I heard a voodoo priest put a spell on him because other guitar players thought he was playing too fast and too hard and they could never live up to that standard.

BD OZZY:  !!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Whatever happened to Jeff, he went way too soon and Metal will be a little less heavy without him.  Drink a beer in his honor and thank him for destroying your eardrums!

BD OZZY:  And your soul!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!

DROP D DAMNATION!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  FLATPICKING FOOL & TRAILER PARK CASSANOVA

BLIND DOG OZZY:  NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I was drinking a cheap beer and listening to the new Aerosmith album today and I was enjoying the s**t out of it ("Music from Another Dimension").

BD OZZY:  Hard rock, bluesy guitar riffs, sweet ballads, Joe Perry & Brad Whitford power rushes -- there's a little something for everyone in this package.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The only thing missing is some rambling acoustic guitar for dessert.  I remember when every hard rock album had at least one track of acoustic guitar breakdown boogie to add texture to the mix, mostly because back in the 60's, all those skinny white boys in Great Britain wanted to be Big Bill Broonzy when they grew up.

BD OZZY:  Listen to the first Humble Pie album man, before they became the bell-bottomed, bootstomping heavy metal boogie men of the "Rockin' the Filmore" album they were sitting cross-legged on the floor smoking a big, fat joint listening to Broonzy, Rev. Gary Davis, Doc Watson, Chet Atkins, Leo Kottke, John Fahey, Bert Jansch and a host of other buskers who were the coffee house rock stars of their time, slaying droves of hippies with a single acoustic guitar and gritty voice.  Then there's the Stones.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Don't get me started.  One of the greatest moments in Rock is Keith and Mick Taylor banging out "Wild Horses" on acoustic guitars.

BD OZZY:  I wish I wrote that tune!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I wish I was in the room when Keith and Mick came up with that chorus at three in the morning after a barrage of beer and cigarettes.

BD OZZY:  I got that part down.

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Then there was Led Zeppelin III.  When I first heard that album, I thought the band had lost it but looking back, it was pretty ingenious to put out an album of mostly all acoustic material.  Later on, they would insert a whole acoustic set into their concerts and chicks would throw their undies onstage during "Gallows Pole."  

BD OZZY:  I want to learn how to play!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Here's something anyone can do.  Take your low E string and tune it down to D.  This is called dropped D tuning.  Form some chords and move your fingers around so it looks like you're doing a whole lot even tho' you ain't.  Don't forget to hit the dropped D string once in awhile to give your guitar that wide open, sold-your-soul-to-Papa-Legba sound.  You can fingerpick or flatpick.  In this example, I'm flatpicking unplugged on a fancy-ass Dean acoustic -- look at it shine!

BD OZZY:  I gave it to him for Christmas!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BD OZZY:  Wow!  Wow!