THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: THE RETURN OF ROCK

"BLUE" JIMMY: ROCK JOURNALIST

BLIND DOG OZZY: NEUROTIC CHIHUAHUA

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The other day I saw some shaggy-haired teenage kid at the local park strapping a big bluetooth speaker to his bicycle.  Yeah, I thought, this boy is gonna be blasting some loud, abusive Rock on his ride home.  I remember as a kid carrying a boombox around and playing BLACK SABBATH, LED ZEPPELIN, TED NUGENT, AEROSMITH (et. al) and not giving a s**t about the noise.

YOUNG HEADBANGER (circa 1980's)

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Wang Dang Sweet Poontang ... Argggggggggghhh!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  The kid turned on his phone and a bunch of rapping, hipitty hopitty,  beats poured forth from the speakers.  My heart sank.  How can you be a young, healthy boy in America on a fine, hot, Summer afternoon and not want to hear some Rock music but instead, some ghetto gibberish?

BLIND DOG OZZY:  What a waste of a zygote!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Oh well, differing musical tastes aside, I looked at the Billboard Top 200 albums recently and I scrolled down the page endlessly, looking for any new Rock albums.  Besides a few reissues and greatest hits collections, (BEATLES, CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL) there was nothing Rock-oriented.  The charts are dominated by Rap/Hip Hop, Country Pop, Alternative and stuff your mom might sing to driving to Panera Bread.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  (yawn!)

"BLUE" JIMMY:  THE unsinkable ROLLING STONES toured last Summer after years of inactivity, AC/DC has announced a 2020 tour, MOTLEY CRUE has reunited after vowing and signing a contract to never tour again and THE BLACK CROWES have reunited after the Robinson Brothers' fighting and differences seemed insurmountable for years.  What the f**k?  What exactly, is going on here?

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Rock Never Dies!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  I have read some negative things on social media concerning these reunions but they just don't get it.   Popular music needs this shot-in-the-arm infusion of Rock music at this crucial juncture in music history.  Several decades ago, Blues music was in a similar position where only a few Beatniks and later Hippies, kept this art form alive in coffee houses and folk festivals where legendary, original Bluesmen were paid a six-pak of beer and a few dollars to perform. 

MISSISSIPPI JOHN HURT NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL 1963

I hope it never comes to this with Rock music.  Fortunately even if their album sales are down, many Rock bands can still bring in big crowds in concert and earn a living.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  YEAH!!!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Think of all the trends in popular music that have come along since the 1950's when Rock 'N' Roll was invented:  Disco; Punk; New Wave; Techno; Alternative; Grunge and countless sub-genres which emerge every week.

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Still trying to figure out what Dubstep is!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Without the support of radio, TV, multi-media advertising and especially music critic hype, Classic Hard Rock and Heavy Metal music is still able to draw huge amounts of cultish fans at their shows who support with almost religious fervor. 

IRON MAIDEN

BLIND DOG OZZY:  And the fan base seems to get younger instead of older for bands that are in their 60's and 70's ... ???

"BLUE" JIMMY:  So before you sneer at the return of some old-timers who you thought should retire ask yourself, "where are today's young ROLLING STONES, AC/DC,  MOTLEY CRUE or BLACK CROWES?"  

BLIND DOG OZZY:  Let me know and I will go see THEM and not these ragged old barstools!

"BLUE" JIMMY:  Sake's Alive!

BLIND DOG OZZY;  Wow!  Wow!
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